Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Blasphemy… blasphe-you… Blasphe-everybody-in-the-room!

Let’s forget about the fact that the Bible™ is essentially a mix of random fabrications, lies, distortions, half-truths and moral paradoxes that essentially show God to be a power-crazed lunatic with a penchant for mind-games on what can only be described as a GENOCIDAL scale, okay?

You’ll love this:

Below is a 'Christian Voice' pamphlet that Stephen Green (the leader of the aforementioned organization) was arrested for handing out at the Cardiff Mardi Gras 2nd September 2006. Read it CAREFULLY:

“So why is same-sex sex wrong?
So why same-sex love OK, but same-sex sex isn't? Two reasons. First, in our examples of same-sex love, it's within the family. Same-sex sex would be incest. You'll talk about 'our gay brothers' or 'our lesbian sisters' proving the point.”


Proof indeed.

I think it is now appropriate to establish my own stance on the sexuality question right here and now: Anyone should be able to have sex with anyone else so long as they are a consenting adult. Is that wrong?

For those of you not familiar with the Bible™ let me recap a little story for you. Come; sit on my wizened knee as I regale you with a tale that’ll turn your hair dumb:

Once upon a time, God got angry because a few people wanted to… well, bugger a couple of Angels staying with a lovely local family in Sodom. The father of the family that protected them - he was known as Lot - fended off the bummers, not with a sword or a chair, but by offering his daughters instead of the Angels. Obviously, that didn’t work since the roving band of sexual predators, were in fact, gay.

No, really; they much preferred a slice of ‘Angel-cake’.

So God said “Get out of town, She’s gonna blow!” (Or words to that effect) to the lovely daughter-sacrificing family and proceeded to blow the living shit out of Sodom and the neighbouring town of Gomorrah (and why not?). God did mention to the family previously not to look back but, because women are EVIL and DEGENERATE WHORES WHO TORE US AWAY FROM HEAVEN ITSELF, Lot’s wife did look and got turned into a pillar of salt for her troubles, just like Sarah Connor in the superb dream sequence of Terminator 2.

Now, here are a few quotations of what happened to Lot and his two remaining daughters in the lonely mountains where they sought shelter. Read it CAREFULLY:

“Genesis 19:

30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave.

31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth.

32 Lets get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father."

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father."

35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.”

(From The Bible™, Written by Anyone-Who-Fancied-It-At-The-Time)

Yeah, you guessed it. There is incest in the Bible™ and yes it is condoned. Why else would the all-knowing, all-powerful, ever-present and benevolent God allow them to survive the blast? He knows everything, including what would happen up there in ‘Brokeback Mountain’. The wife was the only one to look at the blast; if God knows everything (and apparently He does) then why did he bother? Why did he say that if anyone looks back they will turn into a pillar of salt if he knew she would be the only one?

Ponder a moment. Let those Little grey cells fire up. There is only one answer...

He wanted her dead and he wanted Lot to shag his gangly, nymphet daughters in some savage drunken stupor because… (Drum roll)…

God likes to watch, folks. Remember, He was the one that created a race that went onto make two (very different) versions of “Animal Farm”.

God isn’t a DJ; he’s a mind-fuck.

Christ, this whole thing feels like the denouement from an Agatha Christie novel…

So, Stephen Green: if you believe incest is so wrong - even if your Bible™ suggests otherwise - then please feel free to send me an e-mail or comment justifying your dismal and wretched existence.

(For evidence of how monstrously and truly backwards this guy actually is check out the lovely photo at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Green_%28Christian_Voice%29)

Welcome to the Twenty-first Century, bub.

I'll see you in Hell.

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